Sunday, 29 May 2016

On Love

Sometimes the English make wide eyed comparisons with other cultures along the lines of did you know the X have N words for Y?!??!
Some of these are simply fatuous; yes the native peoples of the polar region can accurately describe differing snow conditions, have you seen how many words the British have to describe rain?
While others miss the point. Greek might have more individual words that describe differing types of love, but I'd far rather have Shakespeare taking 4 beautiful lines to say it. The Bard has expressed a great many degrees of feelings better than I can dream to do and he is still my go-to guy for all out love (and lust) but there are still some levels of affection I feel need filling in.

  • You are to me very much like an ancient cat, very near to my heart unless you have just vomited on the carpet again.
  • Facebook's algorithms probably mark 60% of what we message as bickering but you are always the first person I look to see if they're about when I go online.
  • We may not have spoken in months, but you are still my go-to for disposing of dead bodies.
  • When I say, you can ring me day or night, what I mean is your number is in the special section of my phone where it will actually ring at any time day or night.
  • I try my hardest to avoid telling you I worry about you, because I don't want to worry you. But prolonged absence of evidence you are okay vexes me.
  • Would probably be easy to mark this down as avuncular, but I imagine real uncles spend less time working out who to pair you up with. 
  • Awe is a much underrated form of affection, you may well think I am a piffling idiot, it is just me being weighted down by the veneration.
  • You are warm and your jumpers smell really nice.
  • A fundamental and abiding problem that only fate will solve is who is organising the others wake.
  • It would be much easier to express what you mean to me if you were literally fluffy, then I could just quote Agnes
  • One hopefully far off day you will find out what I truly feel about you and at that point you'll probably never speak to me again
  • None pizza left beef with a side of Badger Badger Badger Badger

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